Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Topical Tuesdays: How to deal with a break up

Image taken from www.facebook.com
We've all been there. You haven't got out of bed for a week, you're watching Bridget Jones Diary for the hundredth time and because of you sales of Ben & Jerrys have gone through the roof. That's right ladies, I'm talking about the dreaded break-up! It's a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through. You can't help over-analyzing everything "What did I do?" "What's wrong with me?" "Is it my fault?" "Am I ever going to meet the one?" You feel like your life is over. Any of this sound familiar? Well I'm here to tell you gorgeous lot that you are most definitely not alone and I am here to promise you (or at least try to!) that just because your relationship is over you will not end up a lonely, crazy cat lady!
I am speaking from a good few years of experience & although I am only 21 years old (almost 22!) I have had my fair share of heartbreak and rejection. You are not alone! 

So where do I begin and how can I help any of you guys who are dealing with a recent break-up? I guess I should start by telling you a few of the things I've had to deal with! To make it fun, I'm gonna call these the Friends episodes of breaking up! So I've had  "the one where my boyfriend turns out to be a lying cheating scum bag", "the one where he doesn't love me anymore" (ouch, that one hurt!), "the one where he already had a girlfriend", "the one where my boyfriend turned out to be gay" (that was interesting!) an of course there was the classic "the one where things just aren't working out". So to say I've had a lot of break up experience would be an understatement! 

Now I'm sure a lot of you are reading this thinking "how the heck is she so cheery about it?!" Well I can tell you ladies that right now I am in a very committed relationship of 2 years with my wonderful boyfriend Simon and I am happier than ever! You see there is a light at the end of that tunnel, you just have to be patient & it will find you. Trust me, there were times where I felt as if no one would ever treat me right and that I'd be alone forever (making myself sound really awesome right now!) but those feelings will pass, I promise! At the end of the day there is no point in wasting your tears and energy on someone who can't see how great you are! So here are my top tips for beating those break up blues!

Image taken from lifeofamaybeborderline.wordpress.com
   1. Cry. Okay I know that sounds really silly after saying these tips are to make you feel better! But a good cry can be good for us and is a great way of venting our emotions! And of course you are going to be feeling upset after a break up, we're only human after all! So don't keep your tears all pent up, let yourself have a few days (because one day is never quite enough!) to mope about watching The Notebook, eating ice cream & having a good sniffle!

Image taken from flickr.com

     2. Pull yourself together! So after a few days of letting yourself be sad it's now time to say enough is enough! Tell yourself that you will not let this person make you feel like this! How dare they! I'm not saying get angry at that person, but don't let them take over you and your life. They don't want to be with you anymore and if they treated you badly whilst in the relationship then they are clearly not worth your time!                                                                                                                     
    3. Girl power! Okay I'm starting to sound like a Spice Girls song now but you get the idea. Surrounding yourself with your friends is the best thing to do after a break up. Friends are there to comfort you and help you through things so who better to spend time with during this difficult period you're going through? Arrange some fun girly days like shopping or going to a spa for a day. Trust me, it'll take your mind off of things!                                                                                                                  
   4. Talk to your mum! I know it can sometimes be a bit embarrassing talking boys with your ma, but they've been through it all a hundred times before! If anyone can give you any good advice about heartbreak it's got to be your mummy! Sit her down with a nice cuppa tea & let her know how you're feeling.                                                

   5. Finally, do something for you! Whether it be taking up a new hobby that you've always been interested in or focusing on what you've always wanted to do as a career, it's important to look out for number 1! 

Still feeling stuck in a break-up rut? Then make sure you remember the following things!

Image taken from www.vancitybuzz.com

"My boyfriend cheated on me! Is it my fault?"
No! There is never any excuse for that kind of behavior! If someone is unhappy in a relationship then they should just end it & some people need to learn that they can't have their cake and eat it too! From personal experience I have found that being cheated on actually makes the break up easier to get over. That person was clearly not worth my time, so why should I waste weeks feeling bad over them? It still hurts, but you will get over it and become a stronger person for it.

"I'm still in love with my ex! What do I do?"
It is completely normal to still have feelings for someone despite them breaking your heart! The best thing to do is to try to distract yourself. Go out and have fun. Time is most definitely a healer when it comes to this. There may even come a time when you look back and think "I can't believe I let myself feel that way about that person!"

"My boyfriend just broke up with me but still wants to be friends, should I?"
As someone who has never ended on good terms with any of my exes it's difficult to say. I know some people who are still great friends with their exes, so I guess it's all down to how you personally feel about that person. You have to ask yourself could you be around them when they have a new girlfriend? Or would it be too weird?

"I just got broken up with over Facebook. What does this mean?"
This means that you are so so so much better off without that person! If someone doesn't even have the decency to tell you how they feel to your face then the are not worth the time of day sweetie!

Image taken from www.brobible.com

"I'm always being dumped! Am I gonna end up alone? Am I doing something wrong?"
As someone who has been on the receiving end of a break up one too many times I can tell you that this has gone through my mind a thousand times! I can say that we all think like this occasionally  but y'know being on your own isn't the end of world! Sometimes it's good to just be yourself, do what you want when you want. If Mr Right (or Mrs Right!) happens to come along then awesome! If not, there's no hurry! Don't spend your life waiting for someone to whisk you off your feet and carry you horseback in to the sunset. It's completely normal to be single and you may even enjoy it. Without trying to sound terribly cliche, there is someone out there for everyone! Just let your life unfold and see what happens!

So there we have it! I hope my wise words (haha!) have helped any of you refusing to get out of the house 'cause you just can't face the outside world of smug, cutesy couples! If any of you have any questions or need any more advice then feel free to leave it in the comments! You can also message me if you feel your questions are a little too personal for public reading! Contact details can be find in the uh contact section (how genius!) Hope you all have a fab Tuesday!
Kelly xx


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  2. This is such a nice post, thanks for sharing!