Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Topical Tuesdays: "How I Dealt With Bullies"

Photo from www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk


Hey guys! So today's post is a little different from the usual Topical Tuesday posts. Straying away from my normal fashion & beauty related rants, I thought I'd talk to you lovely people about the very important subject of bullying. Warning, this is a very text heavy post!

I think everyone should be reminded from time to time that this affects so many people in so many different ways all of the time, and as I myself have had personal experience with bullying thought it would be appropriate to share with you my story, how I dealt with bullying & a little bit of info & advice. I'd just like to point out that this wasn't easy for me to write, so please understand that. I'm also not writing this for sympathy or anything like that. I just want raise some awareness and if this post helps at least one of you I'll be a happy bunny. Deep breath, here goes...





My Story

As a child I had many friends, people always seemed to like me & I pretty much got on with everyone! I was quite shy when I first met someone (still am sometimes!) & occasionally people noticed this. However, I had an amazing group of childhood friends, some of whom I still keep in touch with. Everything was going pretty well for me. That was until I turned 11 and had to go to secondary school..

As I went to a different school to most of my friends, it was time for me to get out there & meet some new people. I only had one friend who came to the same school as me, however many people said she was a bad influence on me, always getting me in to trouble & such so decided I really didn't want to be friends with a person like that anymore. I had made a new group of friends & really enjoyed hanging out with them. They were so much nicer to me than my other friend, however she was not happy about this!

She started to gang up on me and my new friends. She'd got some new friends herself, people much like her, bitchy, nasty, abusive girls who think that making other people feel as small & pathetic as themselves will somehow make them feel better. They taunted us on a daily basis. Shouted hurtful things, pushed us around, mocked us, spread rumours about us. It got even worse when the majority of our year decided to join in too. If we hadn't stuck together, I don't know what I would have done.

The breaking point for me came when my ex friend said I'd been spreading rumours about her, even though I hadn't. She cornered me one lunch and punched me in the face. The teacher saw and said she'd "have a word with her". Which didn't help at all. Thanks for all the support there teacher! Things got worse, and a lot more personal. People started commenting on my weight and as most of you probably already know from my previous post which you can read here, I have always had difficulties gaining weight. People would shout anorexic at me & someone even spat at me, my life was hell. I started to bunk off school, my grades started being affected by this. This was also when I started getting panic attacks & was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Things were not looking good for me.

Eventually the girl & most of her "gang" left the school in year 10 to go to college & me and my friends spent the last 2 years of school together, a lot more happily. When I finally left school I felt I was finally free! I went to college and took a course in media studies and art & design. I didn't know anyone, but this time it was different. People were really nice to me and treated me like an adult. I was finally given the respect I'd always wanted and made some amazing new friends! There was a light at the end of tunnel after all!

So if any of this sounds familiar to you and you think that either yourself or someone else is being bullied, either mentally or physically, if you feel you are suffering abuse from anyone at all, I urge you to tell someone! I kept it inside, a secret from everyone. I felt almost ashamed at what had been happening to me and felt I couldn't face telling anyone. Looking back, I really wish I had stood up for myself and told someone. My parents, a trusted teacher, a friend, anyone!I suffered in silence, but you don't have to! I'm very lucky that I came out of school with good grades and still had by closest friends by my side. I eventually told my parents what had been happening and they told me they wish I'd told them sooner, whilst it was happening and I honestly wish I had. Because there are people out there that do care about you and will be concerned if you just tell them what you're going through. Don't make the same mistake I did, we can beat the bullies!



The facts

  1. Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying every year, so if you're going through this you're not alone!
  2. Approx. 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
  3. 56% of students have witnessed some form of bullying at school.
  4. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying & will only intervene 4% of the time! Appalling!
  5. 1 out of 10 students drop out of school because of bullying.
  6. It doesn't just happen at school, anyone at any age can be the victim of bullying. It can be at work or even in your own home.
  7. It also doesn't have to be physical. Many people are the victims of psychological bullying too, which can sometimes be worse.
  8. Over two thirds of students think that schools respond poorly to bullying.
  9. Studies show that girls bully in groups more than boys do!
  10. Boys are less likely to report bullying.



Below are some websites you can visit if you are being bullied:
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm
http://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/kids.htm
http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/warning-signs


So there we have it. As I said before this was not a particularly easy post to write so please no hate. I really do hope this helps any of you out there, even if there are boys reading this. You don't need to feel ashamed like I did, just tell someone! The first step is always the hardest, but trust me you'll feel so much better when you've done it!


I would love to hear your stories & views on today's topic. Please remember to be understanding & sensitive to others when commenting. Hope you're all having a great day!
Kelly xx
♥ 

6 comments:

  1. This was such a good topic to post about, I'm totally with you. I was bullied to hell in school for being tall, having big eyes, for my name, any thing and everything, no matter how pathetic, they could find to pick on, they'd pick on. It just makes your life hell when all you want is to be left aloe.

    I'm a training teacher and, as much as I'm all for positive reinforcement, I will NOT tolerate bullying and I have a whole bank of strategies I've used to tackle it.

    Great post, hope you're happy now and have regained your confidence and happiness!!

    http://robynsnestx.blogspot.co.uk/

    Robyn x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting! I know it's such a difficult & life changing thing to happen to someone. I'm sorry to hear that it happened to you too.

      Good to know!

      Thanks so much! I am a lot happier now! :)

      Kelly xx

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  2. Thank you for checking out my blog,
    love yours, following!

    I hoped you liked mine to follow?
    www.mollyewins.blogspot.co.uk
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks for sharing that post. I can imagine it was difficult to write. I was bullied at middle school by so called friends. I'll never know why. Bullying is never acceptable and I won't tolerate it now. Great post. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's cool. :) It was! But I thought it was something that people need to be reminded of sometimes. It's a horrible thing to have to go through! Hope you're happier now! :)

      Kelly xx

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