photo by favim.com
"You're too skinny!"
"Are you ill?"
"You must have an eating disorder, you need help."
"There's nothing to you, you're a bag of bones!"
- These are just some of the things I've been told in my twenty one years on this planet, (to my face and behind my back) and no, I did not find them particularly complimentary. Ever since I can remember I have been slim, at times scarily slim. Did I want to be? Not a chance! I have always envied those with a bigger figure. Hips, boobs and a big bum are things I've always dreamed of. Curves are all I ever wanted.
At nineteen years old I weighed in at around five and a half stone (that's around 77 pounds to all you Americans out there). I was referred to a dietitian who informed me I was "dangerously underweight" (not the nicest thing to have to hear). And why was I so slim you ask? It's all down to that little blighter, metabolism. (if you don't know what that is it's basically the rate our bodies burn calories and fat, some peoples are faster and others slower resulting in weight issues).
No matter how much I ate, and I ate a LOT, burgers, pizza, chocolate, cake, chips, crisps, I still never seemed to be able to put the weight on. Even when I tried to follow the diet tips my doctor gave me "eat 6-8 small meals a day and try to keep them balanced", I still remained just as thin. I even stopped exercising! So not only was I still underweight, but becoming very unhealthy in my bid to gain weight.
Now I know that there will be those of you out there thinking "are you crazy? I'd love to be skinny! I'd give anything to have a faster metabolism!" but trust me, to have to look in the mirror everyday and absolutely hate what you see can really get you down.
However, I could have dealt with my weight issues a hell of a lot easier if it wasn't for one thing. People.
You see, people have always assumed it was my fault, that I'd starved myself to be thin, that I must have been going through a lot of problems in my life to have become so skinny.
And it wasn't just doctors that thought there was something wrong with me. Family, friends and even strangers would comment on my weight. I have even been called anorexic by someone I didn't know in the middle of the street!
And this is when I started to get real pissed off! Why do people think that if you call an overweight person a "fatty" it's an insult, but call a smaller person a rake it's completely acceptable? It's the exact same thing! Just because in this media-hyped world everyone feels the need to be a stick-thin supermodel to be accepted and that fat is "bad" does NOT make it acceptable to call someone who is underweight a bag of bones. It's people like that that made me cry myself to sleep, that made me hate myself. My mother taught me that if you can't say anything nice, then keep your damn mouth shut, and I believe the world would be a lot better place if more people thought like this.
I know a lot of people will read this and think "she's moaning about nothing, I'd love to able to lose weight and be skinny without trying!" and I'm sure a lot of people think they would. But I also know for sure there will be girls out there just like me. Girls (and boys) that have been judged for just being naturally thinner than others. If that's you then you no longer have to feel alone, there are many of us out there.
I am almost twenty two years old and now weigh seven and a half stone (around 98 pounds). I'm very slowly (and finally!) putting some weight on and I'm happier than I've ever been. You see there is a light at the end of it all, you just have to be patient. I still get called skinny and hear nasty remarks about my weight, but it doesn't matter. I no longer let it get to me because I'm better than that and I'm a stronger person for it. What other people think of you isn't important. As long as you're happy in your own skin, it's all that matters. And at the end of the day nobody's perfect. :)
What are your views? Let me know :)